Social media the Achilles heel of many relationships…
I was recently part of a discussion where a group of women were asked about their relationships. People talked about the good, the bad, the ugly and any other extremities you can think of.
Many times, couples in relationships whether dating or married find themselves in a bind. A bind caused by them either knowingly or unknowingly. But most of the time -unknowingly. This bind mostly happens in relationships when one touts his or her spouse or lover to the world on social media.
The effect of this may seem good in the interim but might not be the best in the long run if things turn sour between them. In the moment, both parties feel great about the accolades, likes, shares and what have you. It might even serve as a measure for some to gauge the temperature of their relationship based off of what others say about them on social media forgetting that the response they get, is based on the information they put out there themselves for the world to see.
Related: Is Your Phone Destroying Your Marriage?
Many individuals, women especially have had to put up with a façade because of the things they had written all over social media. They are afraid of what people would think when they find out that things are not the way they had portrayed to the world it is. Or it may possibly be that at the time of posting these things, they actually had things going good but things just did not work out in the end. But no one cares about that on the internet.
This restraint of negative exposure or wanting to show off a flawless relationship regardless of the pain being endured in it however, is one of the very reasons why many remain in toxic relationships for longer than they should. They put up with a lot of things they should not because of what people would say, the fear of what people will think especially when they were the ones who painted the near perfect picture of their perfect relationship to the world by themselves. How can they again post that things are not the way they had described it to be? How embarrassing that would be, what show of shame, what great disappointment they would become to many!
Well…
This goes on until there is a rude awakening when they no longer can stand the charade and realize it’s actually time to move on.
Are you currently experiencing this?
If you are in a toxic relationship or there is domestic violence in your home, but you are afraid more of what people will think or say than fearing for your own life, you may want to see an expert for counseling and your next steps. Yes, you had posted and touted how awesome your partner is to the world but people change, marriages change, circumstances change…and that’s okay.
Related: Social Media And Your Mental Health
You don’t have to live your life in misery because you are afraid people will think you were lying, pretending, trying to make them feel jealous or envious enough to the extent of them praying they are like you or in your shoes. Some people actually do that. Praying for something they see on social media which they do not know the root or source of; asking for something shallow to become their portion as well. You hear things like “ I claim it” “I love it”, “I pray that mine will be just exactly like this”. If you do this, you need to stop. The question you should be asking instead is “Do I really want my life to be like this?”
Having this kind of thought process of wanting to live the life of others or be like others, is why many people end up being disappointed by their mentors and other people they take up as role models or social media influencers.
The point is, when you desire or pray these things over yourself, you don’t know what exactly you are asking for because you don’t know what happens behind the scenes except for what your role model or influencer or friend wants you to see or know. The other things are well kept under wraps in the darkest darkness away from the light lest it be exposed.
This is not to say that all influencers or role models live a double life or that you should not aspire to attain certain heights but don’t do that based only on what you see in the life of another person especially that of one random individual online.
Some of them are actually insecure but they don’t want you to know that. Who would? How can they let out that secret? If they do, how would they still remain influencers and fend for themselves or their families? So the charade continues…
The point is, be your own standard. Dictate the shots. Admire them if you want to but be careful that your admiration does not become an obsession. An obsession with something larger than life or something unattractive disguised as beauty.
Are your social media posts affecting your next moves or keeping you in that toxic environment? What are you going to do about it?
