Talk about online dating and the movie “Queen and Slim” comes to mind. By the way if you haven’t seen the movie, you need to see it. With online dating, things could change so quickly in a blink of an eye -either in a good or bad way. If you are a veteran at online dating, you most likely already know how to pull the strings.
If you are new and still trying to navigate your way however, online dating could take off in different ways. You could meet people through online dating sites or just by simply dropping a comment or two on posts on social media forums like Instagram or Facebook and you both decide to take it up from there.
Easy peasy.
I have seen only a handful of couples who met online by commenting on posts, but with the recent global happenings becoming the new normal and the increase in the number of dating apps on smart phones, online dating seems like the direction the world is headed right now- way more than it’s been in the past.
But is online dating for you?
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There are so many factors to consider when it comes to online dating which could affect your potential prospects; Age, looks, weight, height, income or job. Little wonder why so many lie on their profiles.
So…do you think there is a difference when it comes to how you meet the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with? Does it matter if it was online or through a friend, whether at the bar, social gathering or at church? Does your personality align with internet dating? What are the things you should take note of or be weary of doing when it comes to internet dating?
You may be asking yourself why the way you meet your forever love –whether through a friend or online is a big deal anyways? After all, the people we know today, were once strangers to us including our friends and spouses. What difference does it make?
Okay…
The one reason why this is important is the “start off point” of the budding relationship.
While most relationships usually start off on the foot of friendship with someone you have seen or met at some point or the other (randomly or casually) whether through friends, friends of friends or mutual friends and in places of mutual interest, online dating is based on pure risk. It’s like randomly casting your net into the sea and hoping you get a 100 lb fish.
In other words, you are meeting a total random stranger (who nobody around you knows) for the very first time and not just that, but also getting to know this human as a first off…with a date (which most of the time is usually very pretty formal and mostly a facade to leave a good first impression so that the meeting can shift gears in the right direction hopefully).
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Also, online dating could be done either locally that is, with someone within your country/state OR internationally (love across the ocean) based on your personal preferences.
The deal with “cross continent dating” however, is that most times, you don’t get the luxury of seeing your date physically or have the quick opportunity to fix a time to meet up immediately (obviously). You and your date only continue to hope things fall in place and you get to meet each other someday soon.
This could be a difficult and dicey situation to be in because of the uncertainties that come with it.
If you decide to date online however, particularly if your date lives in another country, here are some things that are often overlooked that you should be mindful of and fully armed with, way before you create that online profile.
3 Things to look out for when involved in online dating:
Online dating Tip 1: Don’t send money
Love is blind…until you decide to use an eye salve.
Anyone asking you for money almost immediately after you are in touch online should be a red flag. There are many “romance scammers” out there and you don’t want to be a victim of love. Choosing not to send money to someone you have never met because the person said he loves you might sound like a no brainer, but you would be surprised at the number of people who have been duped and become victims of circumstances under the pretense of love.
Online dating Tip 2: Don’t send your nude pictures
Many make the mistake of sending nude pictures to people they are dating online because the they feel they “know” this person and therefore, it’s somewhat okay to show a little or a lot of skin just to show they are ready and serious about the relationship.
You don’t want to do this, no matter how tempting it seems or how many times you are asked to do so under the guise of love.
Don’t be in that bubble.
Sending out your nude pictures might seem like a shield to you to prevent you from losing the “relationship”. It could however be a sword in the hand of the other person.
There are many instances where nude pictures have been used by past lovers for blackmailing down the line if something bad happens or the relationship turns sour somehow.
…And if not blackmail or threats, it could be something as simple as a set of random strangers (apart from your “date”) analyzing the anatomy of your nudity and body structure to their own pure fun, sexual delight and sensual pleasure.
You wouldn’t want your teeth to be set on edge.
Related: 13 Reason Why He Wants You Back After A Breakup
Online dating Tip 3: Seek good counsel
You may have found someone you feel you are attracted to or with whom you share things in common but the truth is, you don’t know this “date” too well.
Even if you are in this same area, state or country, you are still just getting to know yourselves and you should for this very reason, seek good counsel.
In the course of talking and getting to know each other better, you might have questions about things you’ve heard from your date but the answers you seek are not the ones you can get from him for whatever reason.
In this case, you might need to talk to someone who has your best interest at heart and wants to see you happy. This can help you strike a balance or correlation between what your date is telling you and what truth is.
***Alert: Research has shown that 53% of online dating seekers lie on their profile and 22% of online daters ask friends to help create their profile.
Don’t be a victim.
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But what if you want to date online but within your own country?
This is way easier because you have the opportunity to fix a date with your date in person to really see things for yourself, -whether or not what you saw online aligns with the reality seating in front of you.
After a few dates, you should be able to decide if this person is for you or not. If it doesn’t work out, don’t be afraid to walk away.
Take Away
Online dating is peculiar because this is someone you absolutely know nothing about (except what you have been told by your date in his online dating “resume”) and you are starting off as dates and not friends.
You also have no recommendations from anyone whether friends or people close to you who know this person in anyway. You are literally meeting up with a complete stranger.
I believe there’s a place for everyone when it comes to online dating. It all depends on what you want and how you go about it.
So if you are the type who does not like to be told what to do and you enjoy it, or you are the type who loves to be adventurous with anything at all including this aspect of your love life, you can certainly check out online dating but try to look in the right places.
If you are however, on the conservative side and not that up for experimentation with random strangers online, or if meeting people this way makes you nervous or raises your level of anxiety, online dating might just be a huge miss for you.
Which do you prefer online dating or the regular? If you prefer online dating, have you been rudely or pleasantly surprised by your date? Comment down below.
Bonus Tips
-Whichever you choose, your happiness should be on your top priority list. Always listen to your inner witness- your gut feeling. If something doesn’t feel right or sounds off, don’t just shrug it off. Be alert and pay attention to it.
-Love could be entangling. Don’t feel boxed in a corner because you feel you have no other choice(s).
-Whatever is yours will not pass you by- but only if you are properly positioned for it when it comes.
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