Are you wondering how to relate with friends who borrow money from you? We all sure have friends who might need a little push at some point or the other and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
When you love your friends and your friends love you in return, they know they can count on you whenever they are in need.
But are they beginning to take you for granted? When they borrow some money from you, they don’t repay the loan. Now, you feel the lender’s pain and your pocket is shrinking.
You call, but they don’t pick up or return your calls, you stop by their homes or offices but they are no where to be found.
May be, you even decided to call them out on social media to embarrass them because you are frustrated and hope to get your money quicker this way.
Related: 10 Top Money Issues In Marriage You Need To Know
Money has indeed destroyed relationships and friendships many times over and has landed close pals and even couples in court- which is the extreme of all cases. You don’t want to be in these shoes. It is always a mess when that happens and not a pleasant sight to see.
It could be discouraging as we love to help but sometimes don’t have the means to and at other times like this one, we help in ways we can.
And at such times when things don’t just seem to go as planned, we are left thinking where we went wrong. We don’t want to lose our friends who are dear to us and we also want to maintain our friendships with the people we love.
If you want to continue to maintain an harmonious relationship with those around you and those dear to you when it comes to money, these tips will help you avoid being a borrower victim while still maintaining your relationship with your friends and loved ones.
1. Be empathetic
Put yourself in your friend’s shoes for a moment even if you cannot help. Empathize with them. Let them know you understand their positioning and that it’s not a good place to be in. Empathy shows you are on their side.
2. Know you are privileged to have been asked to loan some money
The hand of the giver is always on top. Do not look down on or belittle them because they came to you for some money. If they have come to you, it’s because they believe you have something they don’t have or what they cannot afford.
3. Lend money, but do so within your means
You can still lend out some money but do it within your budget. Do not lend beyond what you can bear. Give what you can and as much as you can, when you can.
4. Do not lend out money you are not willing to let go
Make sure when you lend out money, it is something you can do without. In other words, if you get it back, you are good and if you don’t, you are still okay.
Ensure that what you have lent will not jeopardize your relationship with the borrower. If you feel it will affect your relationship or friendship in the long run, it is advisable to keep it within limits.
5. Seek other ways to help if you can
Don’t turn your friend away especially if you know of other ways he or she could be helped. If you can’t help personally or directly, and you really want to, you can do so by other means depending on what the request is.
You could either go through a nonprofit or even set up a Go fund me page.
6. Be in charge when you loan out money
Lending out money to either friends or family could be emotionally entangling.
If you choose to lend out money, you need to also be able to detach yourself from it emotionally. Being stressed out over a loan you have given out, could take its toll on you. You should be in charge and be able to determine what is too much for you to bear and what is not.
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