How To Date Again After A Breakup

Let’s face it. Striving to find yourself and trying to navigate how to date again after experiencing a breakup with some one who was once your world and heart beat, is devastating.

But while having to go through the heart aches of a traumatizing breakup experience is one thing, trying to detach the ugly past from the future is another. These are however, phases you need to go through to be able to move on.

Why is this important?

First, being able to detach from your painful past breakup successfully, is very key because what happens after a breakup is more important than what actually led to it in the first place. Secondly, the ability to break away from your past effectively, is a determining factor for so many other things you’ll later experience in many other areas in life.

So now that you have experienced the most dreaded path of many partners who are in love- a breakup, how do you go about the “detaching process” to make sure that the happenings of the past does not destroy the future and all the beauty it has for your love life?

***Alert*** Trust me, stalking your Ex or trying hard to make him notice you won’t cut it, as that doesn’t help but will only make the situation worse.

1. Don’t Rush To Date Again After A Breakup

Don’t take a step to spite your Ex.

This is not a “I’ll pay you back in your own coin” time especially if you are a victim of monkey branching. That would be a recipe for disaster. Taking a not well thought out step because of your Ex (who probably can’t be bothered), would only hurt you in the end because you never gave yourself some ample time and care you needed to get past the hurt you experienced.

Relax and take your time while you take care of your heart, body and mind and while at this, don’t forget to take it easy. Forgive yourself (and probably your Ex) for whatever happened in your relationship if you feel you need to.

2. Don’t Be Vulnerable

Being needy could cause this.

Vulnerability can be sensed from afar and it smells good only to predators who have their prey as targets.

You don’t want to be a victim of circumstances and neither do you want a repeat of what you experienced in your past relationship.

Sometimes, you may not have the slightest inkling that your actions actually scream neediness. But this is something you want to make sure you don’t do in your new relationship. It could be a red flag and a huge turn off for your potential man.

3. Set Up Yourself For The Right Man

Now is the time to improve on yourself and set your self up for the future you want. Do all you can to make yourself a better version of you regardless of what the breakup has taken you through.

You shouldn’t become the image, the pains and bad experience your past relationship wants to shape you into. Do all you can to be the exact opposite of what it was intended (or inadvertently) meant to achieve.

4. Know Your Worth

There’s nothing worse than the feeling of worthlessness.

ouch!

Don’t be so damaged by your past breakup that you no longer remember who you are or have a desire to be all that you are meant to be.

You can re write your love story to have a happy ending. But this would only be possible if you choose to make the right decisions concerning your new relationship and all it entails.

5. Love Your Life

Your Ex might have betrayed or left you in the cold.

This however shouldn’t be a passport for hating yourself or your very essence. You need to love yourself no matter how broken you are. Don’t wait for a man to complete you either.

Be complete in yourself and let your man only complement you.

6. Go To The Right Places So You Can Attract The Right One

Do you prefer blind dates, online dating, or would you rather meet this new love in person and in decent places?

Be choosy about the places where you seek to find a good or better man. You can’t afford to look for something good in all of the wrong places. What you see…is what you will get.

7. Be Careful of Peer Pressure

Now that you broke up with your Ex and are getting over the whole drama, friends would come around to cheer you up and try to be there for you.

What are friends for right?

Note that they might not necessarily want bad things to happen to you but they will tell you things they feel is good for you (if you have friends who want the opposite for you or hope that you fail, you shouldn’t be hanging out with such friends).

Many advice will come to you on how to go ahead in your next steps.

Pick out only good counsel and eschew bad advice. For you to be able to do this though, you need to be clear headed so you can make the right choices.

8. Lower Your Expectations

This does not however mean lower your values.

If your expectation is well managed when you want to date again after a breakup, you reduce your chances of being hurt and heart broken again. It’s better you are “wowed” by the other person “over delivering” than for you to expect too much and be disappointed.

9. Don’t Be Afraid To Love Again

…because of your past relationship.

The fear of the unknown or falling into the wrong hands may be a second or third time can cause you to hold back from loving again. That would however, be a self imposed limitation to experience the endless possibilities of finding true love.

You don’t want to miss true love when it shows up because you are scared. You can’t afford to have a phobia for love, you need to be ready when it comes your way.

10. Improve on Your Personality

Experience they say is the best teacher though I would rather people learn from other people’s experiences than go through things themselves.

Leveraging on the experiences of others is a good thing and still a form of experience in a way, only that this time, someone else had gone through the hassles so you don’t have to make the same mistakes.

Isn’t that cool?

If the issues in your past relationship was mostly from you, do not carry them over to this new relationship. Make them mutually exclusive as much as possible. Try to be better and do better in your new relationship.

11. Give Him A Chance

If you believe you are ready to move on past the old times, don’t be uptight or act as if you don’t care about him. It’s a different thing if you really don’t but if you do and particularly if you like him, you could play “hard to get” but don’t go overboard with that so you don’t lose him to someone else.

12. Simply Enjoy Your New Relationship

Let go of all your cares and enjoy your new found love.

This would however, only happen if you have taken time to sieve through and chosen the best person for you.

So before you hit the road to another relationship…you want to look before you leap.

Bonus Tips

-The only person who can help you on your NEW love journey on dating again after a bad breakup is -YOU.

-Enjoy the ride.

-It doesn’t matter how brokenhearted you are right now…you are going to do just fine.

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How To Date Again After A Breakup