Marriage is hard. Having to stay with a difficult spouse in a broken marriage or relationship is even harder.
As you read this, you may be thinking your marriage isn’t the way it used to be and you are wondering what happened to something so sweet with someone so sweet?
You are now stuck with the one you once loved but can no longer stand. The love you once had seems to have gone out of the window. And here you are, wondering what to do.
First, you need to realize a relationship takes two to work. So, what are the things that can help your relationship or marriage work?
How Couples Who Can’t Stand Each Other Can Survive A Broken Marriage
1. Love and respect
These are two key ingredients for any marriage -whether or not the marriage is broken. The husband is to love his wife (as himself) and the wife is to respect her husband (as the head of the household). But you may be out there saying to yourself, I love my wife but she is just too cranky and difficult to deal with and vice versa. If you both really do it right, your marriage will bloom.
You can’t do these things the right way (mutually) and go wrong in any way.
Get Audio Book | Love And Respect
2. Trust each other
Trust is the foundation of any marriage. If there’s no trust between a couple, things definitely will not go well. If trust has been broken in your marriage, do all you can to mend it by forgiving your spouse if you are the one on the receiving end. And for the other spouse, by turning a new leaf and giving your marriage another chance to thrive.
Related: The Benefits of Being A Power Couple
3. Pay attention to your spouse
Is your spouse beginning (not someone that has been pretending all along) to change, become moody, easily irritable, easily angered and those things were not there before ? Pay attention. Seek to know what the root cause is and do what you can to make things better.
4. Sex
Sex should be something you both enjoy doing. It shouldn’t be one sided at all. Try to make sure that sex is enjoyable for your spouse as well. Don’t be selfish when it comes to this.
Also, don’t starve each other of sex or use it as a weapon for your spouse’s actions or in actions. And while you are at it, spice up your marriage bed. Don’t be boring, rigid or stiff.
Loosen up a little bit so you can actually have a show down all you can.
Romp! Romp!
Related: 10 Things To Improve Sexual Intimacy In Marriage
5. Have a date together – in your home
Just like when you were both starting out in your courtship. This could be done once the kids go to bed. At that time, you would have enough time on your hands to attend to the needs of each other after your candle-lit dinner.
Re-kindle your first love the best way you can.
Related: Fun Date Nights Ideas To Do At Home
6. Hug each other
I believe your loved ones don’t make the list of social distancing. Always hug each each other both in private and publicly. This is therapeutic for the both of you. When you hug each it helps you both bond together.
7. Get your spouse what he/she loves
…which is you.
The biggest gift you could give to your spouse is the gift of yourself and you can do this by spending quality time or by expressing any other love language that resonates with your significant other.
8. Talk
The time you spend with your spouse is valuable. Use the time you have to talk to each other and not at each other. Have some alone time together. Talk about things that revolve around you and other things that affect you both as well. Also, laugh together. It’s good medicine for the soul.
9. Co-operate and support each other
Always work hand in hand and seek ways on how you can become better together. You are both on a team you should be rooting for each other.
Do not neglect your winning formula or what ever it was, that worked for you in your marriage from the beginning.
If you used to cuddle, laugh or what have you, you need to continue doing just that.
10. Communication
Talk to each other. Never stop talking to each other. Be open to each other.
Don’t hide things from your spouse either. No secrets allowed.
Get Audio Book | Relationship Goals
11. Avoid Third Party Intervention
Do not take your issues to third parties except it is absolutely necessary.
Try to resolve your own conflicts together first. Do all you can to make it work. If you hit a road block and there’s no form of resolution in sight, then you can seek good counsel that can help your marriage.
12. Choose your battles
Before you continue with that argument, ask yourself in a brief moment if what you are making your point on would be important the next 6 months, 2 weeks or even the next day. If it’s not going to matter then, it’s probably not important. Let it go.
Related: How To Relate With Younger In Laws
13. Talk about your spouse
…In a good way.
Where your treasure is, that’s where your heart will be right?
Hopefully you are not saying wrong!
Haha!
But either ways, talk about your spouse, say good things about your spouse and you don’t have to lie about it. After all, there must be at least that one thing that your spouse does that you love.
You may be wondering and saying to yourself. “What? I can’t think of anything” but trust me, if your spouse doesn’t have that one thing, you probably wouldn’t have been married to him or her.
Let those around you know you truly love your spouse by the things you say and do.
14. Give words of affirmation and encouragement
Let your spouse know how special and loved he/she is. Say it every time. Let it be odd when you don’t say it.
15. Touch your spouse
Just because…
I mean even if it’s for no reason, it’s okay. Touch because you love him or her and do it in a loving way. Touch could be a form of healing for yourself and for your spouse as well. Don’t ever underestimate the power of a touch.
If your spouse is beside you, go ahead, just touch him or her in a loving way. If your spouse is not there with you…experiment later.
Hehe!
16. Appreciate each other
Even in the seemingly little things.
Don’t overlook those things that seem so little or unimportant. It could be important to your spouse. Let them know you noticed whatever it was.
17. Do not put each other down
Do not despise your spouse.
Anything you want to say, can be said in the privacy of your bedroom. Honor your wife and love her, and if you are the wife, respect your husband. Do this not only in public but also in private – your home.
18. Make meals
Not just food, for food sakes, but sumptuous meals.
No brainer right?
Who needs to be reminded they have to cook for their own spouse?
You would be shocked!
If you know you do not have the required cooking skills to sustain your cooking, there are a lot of cooking channels around including on YouTube where you can get through to learning different foods depending on the part of the world you are from.
I know people eat out sometimes or very often but you can make home made meals and do it as much as you can.
For the men, there’s nothing wrong with you whipping up a quick meal for your partner, when ever you have the time.
You don’t have to do it all the time and it doesn’t even have to be on a special occasion you celebrate in your home – though you could do that too.
Surprise your wife every once in a while. I don’t think any wife would say no to that.
Right ladies?
If you say no, I applaud you. You are a super woman!
19. Settle your matters quickly to avoid a broken marriage
Don’t sweep things under the rug or allow too much time to pass before you address your issues. Piling up issues or things that bother you without addressing them, could lead to many more problems down the line in the home.
Make up your mind to resolve that conflict and also sort out any lingering issues of the past. This is a good time to do it.
Related: 10 Ways To Resolve Conflicts With Your Spouse
20. You are a team
To restore a broken marriage, always remember you are not in a competition with your spouse.
If one wins, so does the other and vice versa. You both are one and on same team. Root for each other.
21. Pray together
A family that prays together, stays together -if prayer is one of the core pillars of that home. Pray together as a family. Also pray for your spouse independently.
Nothing stops you from randomly stopping what you are doing during the day or at night and laying your hands on your spouse to say a quick prayer for him or her.
Doing that can make your spouse even love you more. You don’t have to say: “let me pray for you”.
Just do it.
22. Put God first in everything to restore a broken marriage
Trust me, you can’t go wrong if you do this. Everything He wants for you is in favor of you, your marriage and all that concerns you.
How do you spice up your marriage or ensure that the flame of love in your home continues to glow?
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Bonus Tips
-Let the motto for your marriage be : Be better. Do better. Improve.
-You don’t have to wait for your spouse to make the first move. You can initiate it.
-Be determined to see your marriage work.
Enjoy!
Would you like to take your relationship a notch ahead? Get my Free E-book : “The Love Recipe For Successful Relationships”
