You’ve probably heard the saying “Fake it till you make it”, but does that apply to friendships? Are your friends honest-to-goodness or are they fake?
Friendship is life, friendship is fun. It’s such an amazing ride when you have friends-good ones who care, I mean those ones who truly care about you. If you have friends that are true to you, one thing is constant- keep them.
There are some friends you get to meet and it seems you’ve known them forever. And there are some that are your friends but you have no clue what’s going on in your friendship or what the essence of the whole thing is all about.
They leave you confused trying to figure out if the friendship is worth having at all or you are better off just letting it go altogether.
Have you had such friends or do you have such friends? How do you know a friend who is not one you should be hanging out with or one you shouldn’t let go just yet?
Related: When Your Best Friend Is Married And You Are Still Single
A Fake Friend Will
1. Laugh with you and laugh behind you.
2. Cry with you but mock you before others.
3. Say all the good things just to make you feel good (even when they know it is detrimental to you).
4. Seek ways to pull you down.
5. Give you bad advice or dissuade you from achieving a goal, only for them to achieve it themselves.
6. Take the girl or boy they know you like.
7. Want nothing good for you.
8. Be no where to be found when you need them.
9. Abandon you in your lowest moments, only to resurface when things are going good.
10. Secretly want to see your downfall.
11. Hurt your feelings, not feel any remorse about it and actually not mind doing it again at any slightest opportunity.
12. Be in competition with you and compare themselves with you in subtle ways.
13. Never compliment you (even though you are not seeking it) when they know you are the best at what you do.
14. Ask about personal things about you but never tell you about theirs.
15. Always tell you they are better than you-either they are more beautiful or they have more money and everything else in between.
16. Make you feel less than yourself.
17. Conspire with others against you without your knowledge- If you find out, consider yourself lucky.
18. Deceive you in every way.
19. Threaten you because of a favor you received from them.
20. Use you to their own advantage and give nothing in return.
21. Let out your secrets.
22. Pretend. Pretend they love and are there for you but don’t actually mean it.
Do you really want such friends around you?
A Good Friend Will
1. Defend you no matter what.
2. Want nothing but good for you.
3. Give you good advice that’s best for the situation you are in.
4. Not pretend. They will tell you the truth even when it hurts so bad. They don’t mince words or hold back.
5. Find ways to encourage you when you are down and out.
6. Be truly happy for you when you are happy and sad when you are.
7. Protect you and anything that’s yours.
8. Not take away the human you love or anything they know you like.
9. Look out for you and your well being.
9. Hate to see you cry. It hurts to their soul.
10. Go an extra mile for you.
11. Not like to see you broke-without money to get by.
12. Always find ways to make you a better person.
13. Not stop till you reach your goals.
14. Always be there for you.
…Or do you prefer these ones?
What Are The Easiest Ways To Ruin Such Good Friendships?
1. Be jealous. Act it out-whether consciously or unconsciously.
2. Seek ways to make sure your friend is not better than you in any way.
3. Subdue and try to stifle them and their dreams.
4. Bully them.
5. Bad mouth your friend to your own advantage.
6. Make them feel intimidated and unsafe with you.
7. Prevent them from meeting your other friends. This only shows your own insecurity.
8. Tell your friend you made them who they are.
9. Be all about yourself and not care about your friend.
10. Be ashamed of showing them to others.
11. Escape when they need you the most.
12. Resurface when the going is good.
What You Should Do Instead When You Have Such Good Friends
1.Keep them.
2. Multiply them-Have more of them.
3. Talk about them-in a good way.
4. Introduce them proudly to others.
5. Hang out with them more often.
6. Believe in them.
7. Be their number one fan and cheer them on. They need it.
8. Do them a good deed.
9. Listen to them.
10. Encourage them- They may have their own down moments too. Don’t assume they have it all together.
11. Don’t take them for granted.
12. Seek ways to make them better.
13. Go an extra mile for them.
14. Defend them when you know they are right-even in their absence.
15. Love and cherish them because such friends are rare and they are not faking it to make it to your friend’s list.
…But what if your friends are fake?
You could talk it over just in case they are unaware. If after your talk, things still remain the same and you feel you cannot handle it anymore, you could go with other options:
1. Instead of complaining, withdraw or distance yourself from them in the mean time -at least, for your own peace of mind. They have become your acquaintance till you are able to get yourself together and come around.
2. Let the friendship dissolve naturally. This may take time but it will happen eventually.
3. If you can’t let go easily because they are holding on to you too tight, be mindful when you are around them and be cautious of how you relate with them in what you say and do and how you say and do them.
4. Change your circle of friends by being outgoing and making new friends.
5. Relocate. If this is a good option for you, you could give it a shot. It gives you an opportunity to start afresh and meet new people.
Bonus Tips
-Friendship is a two way thing. There are dividends of having friends and it’s fine if they come but you shouldn’t be having friends solely because it benefits you or there’s something in it for you. Rather, you should be asking yourself what you are bringing to the table in your friendship and how that friendship could be better with you in it.
-Take a personal self check to make sure the issue you are facing with your friends doesn’t lie with you.
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