Do you live with your spouse’s parents as a couple?
Couples end up living with their parents or parent in laws for different reasons; Financial strain, job loss, fire disaster of a home or for something as simple as just moving into a new neighborhood and needing some time to settle in.
Whatever case it may be, parents could be a safe haven in times of difficulty.
So as a parent, you have decided to be a source of comfort by opening up your home to your son and your daughter in law in this season of their lives. Though it might not be convenient for you, you are willing to lend a helping hand.
Now, that they are in your home, what do you do as a host or hostess to maintain your relationship between you and your child to ensure that when things get tough, which is a likelihood, you are able to surmount whatever it is that comes your way.
At least, no one wants a strained relationship with their child and definitely not at this point in life, right?
Related: Dealing With Younger In Laws
1. Let your son or daughter know your rules while they live with you and if it’s okay with them
As a host to your own child, your child most likely already knows your likes and dislikes although, this was before he or she got married. The likelihood that your likes and dislikes remain the same is most likely not debatable and he or she probably knows that already.
However, the picture has changed. You now have your daughter or son in law living with you as well. You might need to re-emphasize the things that you would like to see or the things that you would expect from them.
This discussion should however, be with your own child who would do better in communicating it to his or her spouse.
2. Know that it is an opportunity for you to impact your son or daughter and their spouse while they live with you
Life sometimes, come around in full circles.
This is a golden opportunity for you to impact their lives especially if you feel you didn’t do enough for your child while he or she was growing up. This is a time for you to make things right, making up for those lost years by showing them, all the care and attention you can possibly give.
A second chance beckons, seize the moment and make it all you wish it could ever be.
3. Be a good example to your son or daughter and their spouse while they live with you
Now that your son or daughter and their spouse are in your home, they are most likely interested in seeing how you do things and probably would like to get some wisdom on how you deal with life issues.
Do your best to be a good role model to them.
Don’t let them feel unwanted or unwelcome and this is particularly true, when it comes to your son or daughter in law.
4. Be ready to share what you have with them without complaining
Having more people to cater to under your roof might be a daunting task for you but be willing to share what you have.
Sharing is caring and there’s love in caring.
Give as much as you can to your son or daughter and their spouse when you can and as much as you can afford.
Even if it seems they don’t appreciate you enough, still do it anyways.
5. Let them be
Staying in your own lane when your son or daughter live with you with their spouse could be a pretty hard thing to do because your child is involved.
However, the fact that your son or daughter live with their spouse in your home doesn’t mean they have thrown complete privacy and common sense out of the window! Allow them some freedom as a couple.
They shouldn’t feel awkward while they are with you. Let them feel at home in your home.
6. Don’t be offended if your advice is not taken on an issue
Remember your son or daughter and their spouse are adults and they can make their own decisions and their stay with you is temporary.
Make an impact in their lives while you can and make it a good one. Don’t get offended if they do their own thing despite your input.
Try to understand their own perspective on why they choose to do things the way they do. Chime in when you can or see a need to, but don’t push or take things too far. Who knows? They could change their minds and go with your own suggestions at the end of the day-as they see fit.
7. Love them
It’s as simple as that.
Bonus Tip:
If you live with your parents or your parents-in- law, try to put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would love to be treated.
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