Marriage though fun, sometimes is filled with bitter sweet experiences and money plays a major role in that outcome. Money is good don’t get me wrong, but if not properly managed, could cause friction between a couple. Money problems and financial struggles in marriage is widely known to be one of the key setbacks that destroy many homes and the topmost reason why many marriages fail.
There’s also no gain saying that financial problems is responsible for over one-third of divorces. Now, that’s staggering! So what are some of these problems couples face when it comes to managing money in the home?
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Related: How To Relate With Friends That Borrow But Don’t Pay Back.
Top 10 Money Issues To Avoid In Marriage
1. Splitting Money Bills Instead of Pooling Resources
In cases where the couple work, they sometimes decide that rather than pooling all their resources together jointly, they choose who pays what bill.
For instance, the husband pays the rent, wife pays the utilities and the children’s fees.
As reasonable as the splitting of bills sounds, it could lead to a lot of resentment over individual purchases one spouse makes after paying their own bills.
It also divides the spending power of the couple which is one of the biggest financial advantages of being married.
2. Excessive Debt
By this, I mean the couple might be under the weight of student loans, car loans, credit card debt, mortgages and the likes.
This tends to put a lot of stress on the marriage. Particularly when most of their income is directed to paying down debt and they have little or nothing left thereafter.
Also, depending on where you live, debt incurred during marriage, regardless of who the borrower spouse is, will be shared between the couple if the marriage breaks up for some reason. This makes borrowing decisions a major source of contention in marriages.
3. Lifestyle Differences
This boils down to savers vs. spenders. Even if a couple is debt free, there might still be an issue of lifestyle differences.
In such a case, one spouse likes to live large – wearing expensive designer clothes and perfumes and the other spouse derives joy from saving and investing.
This lifestyle differences could create a relationship gap between a couple and lead to a breakdown in marriage.
4. Personality Differences
Closely related to lifestyle differences is personality differences.
In some relationships, a spouse may really be into the numbers and pays attention to every penny coming in and going out. While on the other hand, the other spouse is a free spirit who may seem not to care about the details.
Money conversations tend to be a lot tougher between couples that have such personality differences.
5. Income Earning Differences
In marriages where one spouse earns more than the other could lead to a situation where the spouse earning the most money may want to wield power over the lesser earning spouse. This create tension and potential conflicts.
6. Managing Children And Dependents
It costs about $234,000 to raise a child to the age of 18 for the most part. Hence, in cases where one spouse wants more children than the other, money tends to be a key driver.
This can even be a more serious issue in blended homes where spouses bring in children from previous relationships.
7. Extended Family And Friends’ Needs
Imagine a situation where your spouse’s sibling or friend comes seeking financial help from you.
Whether it’s a loan or a gift, this can be a major point of contention if you think it is not a good idea to give out or lend out that kind of money or your spouse feels slighted, thinking you just don’t care about his/her friend or relative.
8. Religious And Cultural Differences
When a couple is not on the same page when it comes to culture or their faith, it creates a seed of disharmony.
For example, you may believe in giving to organizations or paying your your tithe and even much more than that, but your spouse doesn’t believe in it.
You may also believe it is your responsibility to take care of your aging parents and your spouse thinks you should give your parents as little as you can afford. When this happens, friction in the home is inevitable.
9. Financial Infidelity
Infidelity doesn’t always have to involve having an affair. Sometimes, it could be when you are unfaithful to your shared financial goals by opening a side account or credit card or keeping money away secretly.
You can see how this could make the other person feel cheated when they find out which could lead to the relationship spiraling down very quickly.
Related: 10 Solutions To Money Problems In Marriage
10. Unmet Expectations
Prior to marriage, one spouse may share a grandiose vision of what he or she believes their lives would look like financially in the next 5 – 10 years and this vision may be part of what compelled the other spouse to get married.
However after many years have passed, the vision is not even close to fulfillment in any way.
In fact, after 5 – 10 years they may be far worse than where they started from. This then becomes a point of stress where one spouse may feel like he or she has been lied to or deceived into the marriage and this begins to eat deep into the fabric of the home.
Money issues in marriage need to be properly addressed to ensure it doesn’t cause chaos and an eventual irretrievable break in marriage.
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