Meeting new people is a part of everyday life and an inevitable event as we find ourselves at different places, at different times and for different occasions. While some people find it hard to have a conversation with others, some are just simply nervous when meeting someone new.
These are 20 common mistakes people often get entangled in, either unknowingly or just as plain oversight when meeting someone for the first time (this is even more important if it’s a “potential date”).
If you are the type who enjoys meeting people, what are the things you need to keep in mind to ensure you are doing it right?
Read on, so you can avoid these mistakes if you already make them.
Related: Six Effective Ways To Make Friends
You don’t have to freak out…here we go:
20 Mistakes People Make When Meeting Someone New
1. Talk about only themselves
You probably have a lot to say but when you are not giving room for your friend or whoever you are speaking with to respond or talk, it could be a draw back for your conversation.
Conversations are meant to be a two way street and it’s not a good thing when it is one sided. Don’t make this mistake.
2. Don’t listen enough
Listening is a skill. Nothing beats knowing that the person you are chatting with or talking to, is actively listening and engaging with what you have to say.
3. Don’t introduce themselves or remember names
When next you meet someone new, try to remember their names at the gathering or meeting itself at the very least. This would help you at subsequent times because you just may never know when that name could come in handy.
4. Ask close ended questions
Leave your questions open ended. This gives the other person more opportunity to talk. Close ended questions only end with either a “Yes” or a ” No” and that’s not what you want.
You want a free call and response flow in your conversations so ask open ended questions.
5. Assume people’s behavior and character
Assumption as they say, make an “ass” of you and me-“ASS”-“U”-“ME”. Assuming things about people especially someone you are meeting for the first time doesn’t send a good signal either for you or the other person.
It could actually derail the course of your conversation because you are either on the defensive or trying to preempt what the other person has to say.
6. Judge others before they have the opportunity to make an impression
Having a fixed mindset about some one you just met is like judging a book by it’s cover. This can only easily stop you from making the first move. Yes, your instincts may be right, but you should be able to strike a balance with that.
7. Discuss controversial issues instead of things that breed on common grounds
This one is so interesting.
Have you encountered a situation where you are just meeting someone and immediately after your “hellos”, you are already arguing the very next minute? This could only happen when you choose topics that breed contention.
You want to start out a conversation with someone new with general topics that you both can easily agree on and talk about.
8. Don’t give others the opportunity to talk
You don’t want to hijack a conversation when meeting someone new.
Taking turns will allow for a continuous flow in the conversation and that’s pretty much what you want.
9. Don’t pay attention to the mood of the person they are trying to communicate with
Trying to talk to someone who is not willing or ready to listen is like speaking to a brick wall. You would either get a response you don’t expect or no response at all.
10. Interrupt the other person when talking
Not allowing others finish their sentences or go through their train of thoughts fully, is not a good sign and it doesn’t look good on you.
Interrupting others when talking, could also be considered as being rude. It’s good practice to let the other finish talking and then you can go next.
11. Talk too much
You don’t want to be seen as the chatter box in the room. Don’t get me wrong, you could talk but when meeting someone new, you don’t want to go overboard.
12. End the conversation abruptly
Ending a conversation abruptly except in cases of an emergency is not a good place. Before you end that conversation, try to make sure you are on the same page with your listener. This helps your conversation end seamlessly.
13. Get easily distracted by things around them
Getting distracted by things around you, like every slight sound or noise and not paying much attention to what the other person has to say is a huge distraction in itself.
Try to avoid it as much as possible.
If this is a problem for you, you could ask that you move to place that is more quiet.
14. Look at their phones intermittently
This one is very rampant these days. However, when you are with someone especially someone you just met, try to put your phone away. It shows you respect the person in front of you and you value their time.
15. Talk about all their problems
Talking about your problems the very first time you are meeting someone could send a wrong signal that you could be a potential liability.
This could make the other person want to keep a distance from you real quick. You don’t want that.
16. Arrogant
When meeting someone new, talking about all of your accomplishments in one fell swoop could be a turn off for your listener.
17. Impolite in their mannerism
Giving snarky or impolite remarks about things or people around tells more about you than who or what you are talking about.
18. Rude
Sneaking in rude comments here and there in the conversation could stifle your conversation or make it short-lived.
19. Impose their views and opinions on the others
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion- including you and there’s nothing wrong with airing it out.
It however, becomes a problem when you try to sway the conversation in one direction by imposing or insisting that your own point of view is the right one.
20. Don’t say their goodbyes
Do you forget to say your goodbyes? Try to end your conversation with someone new with a proper goodbye. It helps.
What are the other things you see people do when meeting them for the first time that make you go uhmmmm….? Let me know in the comments.
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