Self Care

Overcoming The Guilt Of Having An Abortion

Was that a fetus? Was it a human being? Does it even qualify to be called a child? I have heard stories of women who have had abortion(s) in times past in their lives.

Many times they get stuck in the ocean of guilt and keep wondering why what happened, happened, why they did what they did or why for heaven’s sake they ever met the man responsible in the first place.

They suffer from post abortion trauma and for many years, remain stuck in that past and are unable to move on past that guilt.

A picture of a woman thinking of an abortion


Having an abortion to some women could be a cage that suppresses them from reaching their full potential in life.

Worse yet, when they feel it affects their ability to have children in their marriages. They look back and wonder if their past and what they currently face by not being able to have another child, now that they want it so badly, could be the reason why they are unable to.

They feel so remorseful and filled with guilt that it freezes every other aspect of their lives because they feel they took a bad decision at some point in their lives -whether it was directly their fault or they were coerced into making that decision for medical reasons.

Related: How To Deal With Yourself In Your Waiting Season

A picture of a woman thinking of an abortion


And…some don’t feel any guilt. I am not talking about those.

If you are however in these shoes and you feel so guilty about the past, I am talking to you. You don’t have to let the guilt of the past drown you out and take you captive.

First, you need to realize that was in the past when you didn’t know any better-or couldn’t have helped yourself because your doctor said so. Now that you know, you need to stop beating yourself up.

It is what it is.

A picture of a woman thinking of an abortion

So how do you get past this guilt?

How To Overcome The Guilt Of Having An Abortion

1. Acknowledge and see the situation for what it was

First acknowledge what happened and that it happened to you. “Did that really happen? Was that a chapter of my past life?” Yes…it happened. You need to acknowledge and own it so you can move on.

2. Forgive your self and the person responsible

Perhaps it’s the person you were dating, a close friend who gave you wrong counsel or your doctor. Forgiveness heals from within and the reflection of what happens on the inside shows on the outside.

Choose to forgive yourself and the person you were involved with, depending on the surrounding circumstances which is peculiar to you.

3. Ask for forgiveness from God and all other angles

God is the ultimate. Ask him to forgive you and be at peace with him. Also, forgive any other person among your circle of friends that you may be crossed with as a result of what has happened. Let it go.

4. Release the guilt

Guilt is a prison yard. It holds its victim in bondage for years unending…until it’s broken. And you know what? You are the only one with the key to that yard. You are the only one who can release yourself from that guilt of the past. Release the guilt knowing you only have the power to change the present and not the past. You can do it.

5. Be Decisive

Make up your mind not to allow the past take over your mind and your life right now. Don’t let what happened in your past take over or define your present, who you are or who you would become.

6. Help other younger women

Help other younger women make wise and better choices. You have been through it, make the best out of it. Show younger women the way and let them know of the effects of going that same route. You could be saving a life…a generation.

7. See a new you

See yourself in a new light. The past is gone, it’s a new day, a new you! Breathe, never give up on yourself.

8. Choose Joy

There’s a tendency you could be sad each time you remember the past. Don’t allow it, instead be joyful! Let it come from your soul. Let it well up within you and take over every sadness and pain.

9. Rebound

Be free! Don’t be held bound by your past. Rebound. You are evolving and you should appreciate the beauty of what is unfolding before you. Be proud of who you have become.

10. Be you

There’s no two versions of you and there’s no better version of you, so make up your mind to be all you are meant to be.

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Letting go of the guilt of having an abortion.


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