Rebuilding trust when there is broken boundaries can be devastating for any relationship. It can indeed be a relationship-shattering experience which can make you doubt everything you thought you knew about your partner and leave you feeling hurt, deceived, and angry. But the truth is, broken boundaries don’t always have to signal the end of a relationship. In fact, many couples find that they can overcome the challenges of broken boundaries and rebuild their trust and love for each other.
From rebuilding trust to improving communication, reigniting love to self-growth, you can overcome this problem, rebuild your trust and love for each other, heal and move forward. These seven things will provide you with practical tools to help you heal and forgive. So if you’re experiencing this, get ready to take on these challenges so you and and your spouse can grow stronger together.
Related: 10 Things That Destroy Sexual Intimacy In Marriage
1. Have a daily check-in
Take a few minutes each day to connect with your partner and share how you are feeling. This may seem like an overwhelming task. You mean check in “everyday”? “Isn’t that a bit too much? No. Not when you are trying to rebuild something that is broken. You want to put in your very best in ensuring you dot all the “i”s and cross all the “t”s. Right now, your spouse is your priority and you have to treat him or her as such. In doing so, you also help yourself heal quicker. It’s a win-win!
2. Practice active listening
When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention and avoid interrupting or planning your response. This is a great skill if you have mastered it- especially in this day where every single thing is calling for your attention and most things are a distraction.
Focus.
Don’t forget the reason why you chose to have this conversation with your spouse in the first place. Active listening takes a lot of practice but the good news is the more you do it, the better you get at it.
3. Use “I” statements
Instead of blaming or accusing your spouse, express how you feel using “I” statements. Take responsibility for where you are wrong. Own up to your mistakes and apologize when necessary. Try not to defend yourself when there is really nothing to defend. Sometimes, when wrong, admitting it might just be what your spouse needs. Making your spouse realize you know and acknowledge where you missed it, could go along way in getting that wall rebuilt.
Related: How To Avoid The You “Suggested it” Blame Game
4. Be honest and open when Rebuilding Trust
Honesty is the best policy as they say. Be honest with your spouse. Don’t hide anything or try to sugar coat things. Being honest doesn’t necessarily mean you have to mean and brutal in your delivery. If you want you spouse to have your attention, share your thoughts and feelings honestly but lovingly, even if they’re difficult to say.
5. Practice empathy
Try to understand your partner’s perspective and show compassion for their feelings. Understanding is key but pretending to, is not. Empathy means putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How do you feel about what and how your spouse is feeling? If your spouse feels a certain way about a situation even if you feel you would not have personally felt offended or angry if it were directed at you, the fact that it doesn’t sit right with your spouse should be concerning to you. Don’t minimize or ignore his or her feelings. If it matters to your spouse…it should matter to you.
6. Be Intentional
When trying to rebuild trust, you have to be intentional about it. You have to decide that what has been broken can be mended and rebuilt and you not only have to acknowledge that it is possible, you also have to be determined to give and do what it takes to make it happen-no matter how long it takes you to get there.
Be intentional to see it work.
7. Set boundaries when Rebuilding Trust
One essential part of rebuilding trust after a broken boundary is improving communication. You may find that your communication patterns were a contributing factor, and addressing these issues is crucial for moving forward. Communicate your needs and establish boundaries to prevent future misunderstandings. This is key.
Related: Boundaries; The Key to A Stronger Marriage
Take Away
Improving communication takes time and effort, but it’s crucial for rebuilding trust and creating a stronger relationship. By doing these, you and your partner can learn to communicate effectively and heal from the pain of broken trust.
Broken trust is a painful experience that can shake the foundation of any marriage. However, with the right mindset and attitude, you can overcome the challenges and grow stronger together. By actively taking on these, you and your spouse can rebuild trust, communicate effectively, reignite your love, and move forward together.
