A Date “must haves”…
Many people look out for different things -both significant and insignificant before or while in a relationship. But some of the things they look out for, end up in regrets years down the line because they were looking for the wrong things in the wrong places. So what are the things that you should be paying attention to?
Your Relationship | Dating Arsenal
You must be fully equipped.
1. No Date can love you better than you
Love you. That’s the first rule. If you don’t love yourself and all that you are, you cannot love someone else -and your date cannot love you more than you do yourself either. If the person you see in the mirror is not the one you want to see, change what needs to be changed to become all that you are meant to be. Don’t wait for someone else to come, hoping that they would come and help you fix all that’s needs to be fixed in you. Fix yourself and fix you now.
2. Pay attention to your date’s childhood experiences and upbringing
This goes a long way in affecting a person’s thinking process. An individual’s upbringing does a lot in molding not just the life of that person but also affects the people they meet along the way in life- particularly the one they end up dating or getting married to (including their kids).
3. Don’t force it, walk away when it doesn’t feel right
No. This is not one of those “fake it till you make it moment”. Are you currently in a relationship and your gut feeling is screaming “run”! But you have for whatever reason chose to stay? You know it doesn’t feel right, you probably even know it isn’t right, why are you still there? Follow your intuition. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t right. If it’s not doing you or your relationship any good, it’s time to let go of your date before it’s too late.
4. The first time your date shows you who they are…believe them
Are you making excuses for bad behavior? Have you told yourself that it’s your fault or that you are just imagining things or that things are not the way they seem and you are just tagging along suffering in silence? You know deep down this is not going to be good. What are you doing?
Related: 10 Things That Destroy Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
5. Don’t waste time trying to change your date
Are you hoping or do you believe you have the magic wand to make your date make a 360 degree change? Remember this is a full grown adult fully formed and set in their ways. If anyone is going to change, trust me it’s not going to be you that would do the changing. You don’t have the power to change anyone- but there is a higher power and that’s GOD. Trust him to do the changing not you. You sow the seed, then you step aside and let Him do the watering for what is sown to germinate and bring about those changes you wish to see deep down.
6. Look beyond the words, pay attention to your date’s actions
Can’t stress this enough. Do the words you hear or what you are told align with what you see or the way you are being treated? Stop making excuses by choosing to turn a blind eye to your life and presumably your future. Pay attention to the actions you see and make sure they align. If they don’t, that’s a red flag right there.
Related: 10 Rules of Dating
7. Always create boundaries
Boundaries, boundaries and more boundaries. Respect yourself and others will follow suit. Know your worth and let others know that you know what you are worth. Don’t let your date treat you less or make you feel inadequate. You are worth more than you know.
8. No perfect people allowed
There’s no such thing as a perfect person or relationship. Are you looking for “the perfect person”, someone who has it all? If you find such a date, great! But if it’s not a “whole package” remind yourself that it’s only so for now. As long as your date has a vision and you see the potential of what the future could be for you both when all is harnessed and processed together, don’t wait…as you work towards it, the package will come just as you dreamt and imagined it.
9. Find out THE why
Remember people get into relationships for different reasons. Find out why. Why does your date want you? It might not be for the reason you think or hoped. Find out why he wants you. There are billions of people in the world why did he choose you?
10. Put God first
First things first…it doesn’t matter that this is the last point, with this in your arsenal, you can never go wrong.
Happy dating!
