What To Do When Your Relationship Is Draining

Is your relationship with the one you love or other people around you setting you back?

We all have some friends or family members with whom we do not see eye to eye on some or many things. And the result of this, could not only be mentally draining but also physically and emotionally draining.

If you have found yourself in this tough spot, you are not alone. There are a number of ways you can deal with your relationships to avoid emotional and physical fatigue.

Questions To Ask And What To Do When You Are Fagged Out:

Let’s go.

1. Trace the source of your internal turmoil

Getting to the root of the problem is the first step in the right direction. Once you can decipher what the source is, you will or should be able to tackle it.

2. Find out what got you triggered

Is it what was said to you, how it was said or how it was perceived on the recipient’s end? Was it the content of the conversation? At what point were you triggered? Sieve out what got on your nerves for you to be able to make a head way.

3. Think about who made the statements to you

What’s the position of the person in your life?

The placement of who the person is to you is very important because it can actually take a toll on you. It could also help you know how to handle delicate or not so intricate matters.

What your spouse says for example, will carry more weight than what just a random person says. It is true that you would be hurt more by some one closer to you than someone who is not. But then, you need to realize that the people we love the most tend to hurt us the more because of the expectations and love we have for them. It’s just the natural order of things. That’s why you need to be able to manage and properly handle the close relationships around you.

4. Should the position or stance of this person be consequential in the grand scheme of things in your life?

Should the opinion of this person matter and to what extent? If by looking at the bigger picture, what the individual thinks or says doesn’t matter, then you might want to overlook it and move on.

5. Should the situation that brought about the supposed fatigue be allowed to fester?

Are you willing to pour in all of your energy into it? Do you want it to continue to linger and make you mad? You can decide to choose your battles and let it go. The issue will only continue for as long as you want it to.

6. Can you talk about what the issue causing the fatigue is, without causing any more drama?

When there’s drama, the tendency is that it leads to more drama. And though this might not be true in all cases, it is for the most part. If your talking about an issue would only open a can of worms, it might be better to let it die a natural death to maintain peace both for yourself and the other person.

7. Will the person listen to you?

You need to know if the person would listen, be overtly defensive or end up even blaming you for what ensued. This shouldn’t however debar you from reaching out if necessary. When doing so however, you would need to be prepared just incase you are not given the reception you thought you would receive or things don’t turn out as positively as you had hoped.

8. What do you intend to do if the other party listens?

Now that the person has your attention, what do you want to achieve out of the conversation? Keep your focus on why you wanted to have the conversation in the first place for your encounter to be reassuring and fruitful.

9. May be the situation requires forgiveness. Can you forgive?

What if you are willing to forgive even though it hurts you so bad but the other person is not ready to go down that path? Do it anyway.

10. What is the goal of your relationships?

Why do you have the people you have in your life? As long as it’s not because of what you would receive, you should be fine.

True. Relationships should be a two way street but in some cases, they are not. In every relationship what the goal should be is asking the question: “How can this relationship be better with me in it?” And not necessarily “What is in it for me?”

Prioritizing these questions can lead you to your next steps. If you can answer these questions sincerely, you can make your decision on what’s imperative or important and what’s not. Filtering these can also help you focus on what is worth focusing on and letting go of what you should.

Bonus Point:

Know and appreciate your friend or family member for who he or she is. Knowing the personality or character of who you are relating with would help you know how to deal with them. Once you can study them properly, you can be more relatable to them and that can help both you and your relationships immensely.

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