Actually, 8 things to keep in mind when meeting with old friends.
In different phases in life you get to meet different people, build relationships and solidify friendships…then life happens and you lose contact with them or just get busy.
Sometimes, this may be for years or may be a few months.
But some how along the line, you get to see your long time friend as you went about your business. You are so elated. It’s really been so long that you needed to catch up on both the old times and what’s new.
Being nostalgic about friends and events of the past, surface from time to time and could bring the feeling of wanting to re live the past.
Also, reaching out to an old friend or an old friend reaching out to you ordinarily shouldn’t be a problem.
However, before you do so, you need to make sure that some things are in place.
So as someone meeting with an old friend after several years, what are some of the things you need to keep in mind that are often overlooked?
Related: 20 Mistakes People When Meeting Someone New
8 Things to Keep In Mind When Meeting with An Old Friend
1. Don’t get carried away
Be mindful because people change. Some people for good and some otherwise. Don’t just assume it’s the same person you used to know.
Someone who was once bad in character may now be good.
A good person may also have lost his bearing along the way, though the probability of this happening is not that high, it’s still a possibility. Be on your guard.
2. Don’t ask the right questions- the wrong way
Don’t ask condescending questions.
Now, that it’s been a while you’ve both been in touch, the chances are high that you are not on the same page in life. One may be ahead of the other and that person could be you. If you are the one ahead, don’t say things like: “Oh! you mean you are still there after all these years!!” or “Oh! You are not yet married? Ain’t you 40 or so now?” -even if you mean well.
This can only make your friend feel bad or regret meeting you.
3. Don’t be too hard on yourself
Don’t look down on yourself if you are the one on the other side of the table and your friend is the one doing great.
Don’t compare your life with that of your friend or feel something is wrong with you. Don’t underestimate yourself or the things you have been able to achieve in your own way.
And if you feel you haven’t achieved or accomplished any thing, at least you are trying. You haven’t given up yet and that’s a good thing.
4. Don’t believe rumors
This is mostly about others and not about the friend you just met.
The tendency is, having not seen each other for a long time, you likely would want to talk about everything under the heavens including the people you went to school with or people that were in your lives at the same time you had things going on.
You do not mean any thing bad by asking after others but don’t believe rumors.
Do your own research. If you are so interested or concerned in knowing how these other people are faring, despite what you’ve heard, you could get their contact and give them a call to find out how they are doing and see things for yourself.
5. Evaluate the friendship
Take time to re evaluate your friend before plunging neck deep into the friendship.
If your friend is a good fit for you in your current season in life, it shouldn’t take you too long to know.
Re-assess your relationship and decide if it’s someone you want to continue with in your journey. Make a decision to either go ahead and re-ignite your friendship or put a halt to it .
6. Exchange contact
Exchange phone numbers.
Not exchanging phone numbers may not be as likely, but it could be easily overlooked if your mind is preoccupied or you are so much in a hurry.
Good news! Thanks to technology. If that happens, you may still be able to look up your friend on social media and find him or her- if you are lucky.
Either ways, social media could help make up for that lost opportunity…or not, if your friend is not social media savvy. Try to get your friend’s contact while you are sure you can.
7. Plan
Plan shared activities. Dinner or lunch may be appropriate for you to pick up from where you both left off.
8. Rebuild your friendship and keep in touch
Do this if you choose to go ahead in rekindling your friendship.
Enjoy!
Bonus Tip: Questions You Could Ask An Old Friend You Just Met
1. What’s been going on with you?
2. How are you? Anything new? Tell me all about it.
3. What have you been up to?
4. Were you able to close on that deal we spoke about the last time?
5. Did you eventually marry that girl?
6. Do you still live in……..?
7. Did you eventually get that job?
8. How is your family?
9. What are your plans or next move?
10. Where have you been?
11. What are you doing around here?
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