When it comes to a change of last names for married women, I believe there are no absolutes and it all depends on the side of the aisle you are on.
Yes, some people would say it’s their right not to change their last name but to some women it’s a privilege, a golden opportunity at that.
Many brides because of circumstances in life would change their name in a heartbeat. Why? Because it’s an escape route to jettison whatever has been plaguing them all their lives as a result of their last names.
As a single woman, you had no control over your maiden name but now that you are married, you have a window opportunity to change your name.
You are your name.
So do you think it’s a right for you to keep your last name or a privilege for you to let it go as fast as you can?
Some women believe they should have the right to retain their maiden names and even question why they should change their name after marriage in the first place while some think otherwise.
So what are the non obvious reasons why some women would change their last names without batting an eyelid?
6 non obvious reasons why some women would do anything to change their name as fast as they can when married
1. Non-acceptance or acknowledgement of paternity
Women whose fathers never accepted them (and are aware of it) and who because of that, never had the privilege of bearing their biological father’s name wouldn’t have second thoughts about dropping their maiden names as soon as they can.
2. Rape
Women who became mothers against their own wish because they were raped and the child they had, had to take up their own maiden name as a result. Such child when married, will change her name at the slightest opportunity because of the surrounding circumstance.
3. A longing for a change of identity
When a child (especially the girl child) has been struggling all her life longing for a change of identity, seeking a fresh start, dying on the inside for self worth, and hoping to fall in love and be loved in return by someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with, eventually gets married, a change of name would mean the world to her.
4. Low self esteem
A woman who feels her father wasn’t well to do by virtue of the life he lived, how poor he was, or perhaps how badly she feels about how his name is spelled or pronounced.
Such a woman would be quick to embrace a name that sounds good or one that shows affluence or fame.
5. Bullying
Women who have been bullied all their lives because of their last names will do so quickly as well.
Trust me, there are names that are like plagues and there are names that you would not have to think too much about before picking up (they are that good).
Unfortunately, men don’t have the opportunity to change their names, at least not in most cultures. Many of them would also hop to change their last names in a jiffy if culture allowed it.
6. Seeking to fill the void of rejection and abandonment by a father
A woman who never knew a father’s love and care will see it as a burden of bearing his name all her life. She would be happy to lay it down at any given opportunity.
Take Away
For these women, changing a name that has not only been shameful all their lives but also shattered their self esteem is a privilege. And getting married is something they earnestly look forward to because it gives them the opportunity to get out of what has held them down over the years.
While some consider it a right to keep their maiden names, these women see it as a privilege to let it go.
A woman should however, not be name shamed if she decides to either change or retain her maiden name. It is her own decision to make.
So before you try to convince that lady to retain her maiden name, you might just need to take a pause because you just may never know.
Will you like to change or retain your last name as a married woman? Why and why not? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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