Is it possible to have friends and still be lonely?
Have you ever found yourself lonely in the midst of friends or may be you’ve probably heard some people say “I am so lonely!” but yet have many friends around them and you can’t just understand why they feel the way they feel?
Feeling lonely when you have many friends around you is like starving in the midst of plenty and while some people make friends so easily, others do not have it that easy.
Fair enough.
So why do some people feel lonely in spite of having so many people around them?
Related: Six Effective Ways To Make Friends
20 Reasons Why You Are Lonely In The Midst of Friends
1. Lack of connection with others
Some people find it hard to connect with others either because of their personality or character differences. Do you? This makes it almost impossible to hold conversations or sustain long term friendships.
2. Not outgoing
Being an introvert or too reserved can be a cause of loneliness. When people want to make friends or go deeper in their friendship with you but you are not open enough for them to come into your life, it could be a hard wall for them to penetrate.
3. Not willing to make the first move
Waiting for others to come to you first might not always work. Sometimes, all you need for that connection is to make the first move. Go ahead and say hi.
4. Not able to tolerate other people and their excesses
You should be able to tolerate others. This however, doesn’t mean you should take all the junk and gunk in the world, but sometimes you just have to be able to overlook some things and let them go.
5. Insecurity
When you feel insecure in yourself and you are not sure of who you are, this could be a great barrier to making friends.
6. Lack of self esteem
Not being confident in your abilities and capabilities or short changing yourself to be accepted by others, can make you restrained in making real friends.
7. Fear of rejection
Overtly thinking about what others think or say about you could stop you from the opportunity to make friends.
8. A feeling that you are better than others
When you feel too proud or you look down on others, you can’t be friends with them or the people you treat this way.
9. Anxiety
Being anxious of people and what they can do to you, could be a problem too.
10. Depression
When there is no enthusiasm to meet people, leave the house or your comfort zone as a result of depression, it serves as a barrier to making friends.
11. Lack of interest
People are everywhere and meeting people is a part of everyday life. However, when there is a lack of interest in meeting people, your ability to make friends is limited.
12. Fear of being around people
Having a fear of a crowd or not wanting to be around people or wanting people around you, could be a problem as well.
13. Overwhelming sadness
Sadness or happiness is contagious. When you are sad or happy, people can sometimes feel it even when you think it’s perfectly disguised. Sadness could drive people away from you and if continued overtime, can stop you from making friends.
14. Being self sufficient or having a feeling of self sufficiency
Having a feeling that you are sufficient in yourself and don’t need anyone else because you can do it all by yourself could stifle your chances of making friends.
15. Independence
Living an overtly independent life either as single or married could also be a barrier.
16. Having a feeling of irritable inconvenience when people are around
When you can’t stand having people around you or you feel easily irritated or angered by people, this could be part of the problem.
17. Being close minded
Not giving room to adventures or making a personal decision to be on your own, could stand in your way of making friends.
18. Finding it difficult to enjoy the company of others
When you don’t enjoy other people’s company regardless of what they do, could also be a clog in your wheels of making friends.
19. Lack of patience with people
No one wants to be around someone who is crabby or easily agitated. When you are impatient with people, they won’t want to be around you.
Related: 5 Natural Ways To Manage Your Anger
20. Intentionally or inadvertently pushing people away
When you do not want people to come close to you or be around you, and you do so intentionally or unintentionally, it could make you lonely in the midst of friends.
Related: 30 Reasons Why You Should Let People Into Your Life
What can you do about it if you are in this situation?
#1. Know that you were made to have friends.
#2. Realize you can’t do without people even if you wish you could.
#3. Acknowledge that no one can thrive in isolation.
#4. Make up your mind to make friends and find the right people to be friends with.
#5. Be open minded in having conversations with people.
#6. Don’t see everyone as an enemy or people who want to take advantage of you.
#7. Open up. Be intentionally friendly.
#8. Be excited about having friends.
#9. Give people a chance.
#10. Love yourself.
#11. Overcome the fear of being around people.
#12. Fill that void and emptiness by getting your inner peace -by being at peace with God and yourself.
#13. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
#14. Know you are worthy enough to have friends.
#15. Believe you can connect with people.
#16. Connect.
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