10 Ways To Resolving Conflicts In Your Marriage

Ways to resolving conflicts in your marriage.

Conflicts? Oh no! Not again!

It was just like any other day when you and your spouse set out to spend time with friends and family. It was all great and everything was going good until an argument over an issue suddenly arose on your way back home and that changed everything.

The atmosphere was so thick that you wondered how something good could turn sour so quickly. Here you are in the moment, wondering what went wrong and what you should do. You are so angry, you can’t think! Okay, what now?…

Conflicts between couples is one of the things that is inevitable in most marriages and how it is handled is as important as the very essence of the marriage union itself. Couples always need to strive to make their relationships with their spouses as harmonious as possible, no matter how hard that may seem.

Arguments and conflicts generally, if not handled the proper way as we all know, could further lead to tension and many other problems down the line both in marriages and in any other relationship at that, so it’s important to keep conflicts at bay as much as it lies with us.

To avoid such situations in your marriage and give more room for happiness and joy, these are some things you could do to make your relationship or marriage work:

1 . Give some time to breathe, pause and think

For the possibility and ease of resolving that conflict quickly, do not talk in the heat of the moment. It could be very tempting to want to talk right there and then. Don’t do it.

Don’t think you are weak if you walk away either. Rather, it actually shows a sign of strength if you do. Be as calm as possible in the face of the ongoing conflict and don’t let the moment take you over.

2. Allow yourself to cool off before speaking to your spouse

Anger does no good and it does not help when there is a conflict. When you are angry and you let anger take hold of you, it can only escalate the situation and not help it in any way.

As much as it lies with you, give your self some ample time to decompress before you say a word. Remember, you need to respond to your spouse and not react.

3. Try to see the conflict situation as a third person

Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Ask your self, “if that was done to me or if that was said to me, how would I feel?”

Treating others the way you want to be treated also includes how you treat your spouse.

Remember this is someone you profess you love, approach the situation with that heart. This would go a long way in helping you resolve that conflict quickly with your spouse.

4. Don’t sweep the conflict under the rug

Find some time to talk about the conflict with your spouse and try to see things from your spouse’s perspective. Be willing to have the discussion and be ready to talk about the conflict.

Avoiding the conversation will only lead to going round in circles, if you don’t deal with it, it won’t go away.

5. Don’t take too long before you resolve the conflict

You might be tempted to allow a long period of time to pass without talking about that conflict, don’t procrastinate. This can only put more strain on your marriage down the line and that’s not want you want with your spouse.

Try to resolve that conflict with your spouse as soon as you can.

6. Make up your mind to have the conflict resolved

Make up your mind before you sit together with your spouse to discuss what actually happened and be open to what your spouse has to say.

Also give room for a re think just in case you and your spouse had misunderstood each other.

There is time for everything. If there’s a time to argue, this moment is not one those times.

This is not a time to be defensive or to retort argumentatively especially if you are the one in the wrong. It won’t help your conversation but will only trigger an even more tense atmosphere.

Calm down.

Make up your mind that regardless of how the conversation goes, the end result will be a meaningful conflict resolution.

7. Be ready to listen and make changes if need be

To resolve that conflict, be ready to listen to what your spouse has to say.

Apologize to your spouse if you need to. Be sincere with your apology and don’t just apologize for the sake of apologizing by giving a half hearted “I am sorry”. If you do this, another conflict is inevitable because there was no true apology in the first place.

Remember, that you both love each other and you want to see the best in each other. Ultimately, what you both want is the best for your home and marriage.

8. Try as much as you can to avoid whatever it was that led to the conflict next time

As the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy.

You don’t want such conflict situations to repeat itself. You can manage your conflicts by avoiding the things that could stir up reactions and actions as much as possible. This is actually what a true apology that comes from the heart does for your marriage.

Be sensitive to the triggers that lead to conflicts between you and your spouse enough to know when they are about to come into play and give no room for it.

9. Don’t let your conflict make you fall out of love

A hot argument or conflict could sometimes lead to you to resent your spouse.

Don’t fill your mind with thoughts that could negatively impact your love for your spouse as a result of that conflict. See through the lens of the love you have for your spouse and let it lead you to see that the conflict is resolved.

Resolving your conflicts as a couple is one of the key points in your marriage.

As you express love, patience and understanding, you recognize what your marriage needs and put yourself in the position to give it what it takes to make it work.

10. Desire to see your marriage work

Both you and your spouse must desire to see your marriage work and the scale of this desire have to be rightly balanced between both parties. You cannot afford to have it lopsided otherwise, there’s a risk of having it tilt and topple over.

Give it the persistence and determination it takes. Do all you can to resolve that conflict in your marriage and make it work.

Bonus Tip:

If you believe your marriage is at the brink of failing, you should speak with a relationship coach and expert, that is interested in seeing your marriage thrive and ready to cater to all of your relationship needs or you could contact the one closest to you.

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