As I remember my dating days, I decided to “put a pen to it” by writing on dating tips and how you can do so effectively without any tongue biting or regrets whatsoever.
Yes, I was young and free and could choose my own path and make my own decisions. What great bliss! If you are dating, I believe you most likely have your own rules as to what is allowed and what is not. And these dating tips might be similar to your dating rules…or may be not.
So, whether you are 24 or 42, I have put together these 10 dating tips to help you as you journey along in your dating life to marriage…hopefully. Right? Dating is awesome!…if done right. So, let’s talk about these tips.
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10 Dating Tips You Simply Can’t Ignore
1. Commitment
Is your man committed to your relationship?
A man who wants you would commit to you. What does that look like? It means his eyes are on you and you only; no one else but you- no more, no less. That sets off butterflies fluttering in your belly doesn’t it?
It’s a good feeling knowing there’s someone out there who loves you and only you for you. This shouldn’t take years unending though.
A man who professes he loves you should not only be able to show his commitment, but it also shouldn’t take him too long in doing so.
If you are a man dating a lady for 3-5 years or more and there’s nothing going on in the direction of moving it a notch ahead, I mean what are you doing? All I would say is put a “ring on it”.
If it’s taking too long, it’s time to take it to the next level.
If you are getting engaged or have decided to take that one knee epic pose and are getting married soon (yay! I love weddings!), I have made things even easier for you!
You can check out a variety of rings here that could help you make that bold statement and deliver the beaming smile and laughter you’ve always dreamed of, to the one you love.
2. Picture Imperfect
The dating season could make you blind to so many things even though it’s a time for you to get to know each other better.
A lot of times, we get carried away because we are so much in love that we neglect those things that are important to look out for. If you are observant enough though, you would notice that there are some things that were not seen on the surface which you can now clearly note – well of course, except there is perfect deceit that is perfectly camouflaged to deceive you.
The deal is, no one is perfect.
Yes, this might be your knight in shining armor but at the end of the day, the best of men is still a man at it’s best.
This is a time for you to sieve what you want to see in the long run. It’s also a time to make a firm decision on where your relationship is headed.
Take good advantage of it.
Related: 12 Handy Valentine’s Day Gifts For The One You Love
3. Boundaries
Do you have boundaries in your dating life?
What do I mean by boundaries? I mean curbing things you know are not sustainable at the end of the day. If you see something you don’t like, speak up.
If you hear a nick name you would not like to be called or see a behavior that is not something you can cope with, nip it in the bud immediately while you can.
If you overlook some of these things, it might be difficult for you down the line to change things around.
4. Sexual purity
You might need to pull up a seat and get some chew-ables because we are about to go on a jolly ride.
Many don’t believe in this anymore and some might even say this dating tip is archaic. But it doesn’t really matter the aisle of the conversation you are on, the truth is, if you know who you are and your worth, you would not give yourself out on a platter -for free.
Emotions run high and the body wants what it wants no doubt, but you should be able to exercise self control. Believe it or not, your partner would respect you for it at the end of the day. You just need to experience it, to believe it.
Okay…but what about a situation where it’s your partner who actually wants to take the fast lane, take you to bed or force things?
If you have chosen your path of waiting, remain firm in your decision and say “No”. And whenever you do, remember it’s because you know deep within, it can wait. If you choose to stand your ground and don’t succumb, you will eventually realize that it was indeed worth the wait in the end. Trust me.
However, if you are so much in a hurry because you feel you can’t wait, I believe you should get married to your heart throb as soon as you can.
Doing this will save you a lot of hassles and headaches in handling your body’s demand for sexual pleasures…or even the pain of a potential heartbreak from having put the cart before the horse.
Let me give a little chuckle, when I was younger, I somehow thought (and I don’t know why I did), that married couples had sex every single day of the year. I said this at the time to some one who was married and he was like what?!? I know right?
I know better now for sure. But wait, may be some people actually do? I don’t know.
Haha!
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Sex is a beautiful thing when done within the right confines but it’s often over rated by people who are so curious to know what goes on behind the scene or under the sheets and can’t wait to find out – even when they are not ready and they know it.
Sex should also not be the proof of your love or the yardstick you need in your relationship to show how much you care or measure how much the love in your heart is, while dating.
Humans do have the ability to have sex without an ounce of love in their hearts. Don’t be deceived. If you feel pressure, there are sure other fun ways to show love to the one you love you can explore.
Either ways, it’s sure not fun to wait, I know. And I understand how you feel, but I can tell you it’s definitely worth not just the wait but also the self worth it comes with. Self worth not only in your eyes but those of your partner as well.
He values and cherishes you more, plus you put him in suspense and give him (actually the both of you) something to look forward to at the same time.
Ask any guy who is truthful enough, he will tell you he would respect a woman who chooses to wait not because he is being “rejected”, but because of her value and self worth which she recognizes and holds in high esteem.
The bottom line is, let sexual integrity, safe boundaries and mutual respect be your watchword. Don’t move in with your to-be spouse just yet either, until…he has put a ring on it.
Don’t move in? Yes- but not because I said so.
Moving in with your to-be spouse or any one at all while you are not yet married, is actually what is called “Common law marriage” in legal terms.
It’s an exchange of consent between two people (adults), cohabiting together and holding out publicly as living together as spouses. This sort of union requires no solemnization and has been abolished in most places.
Related: How To Deal With Yourself In Your Waiting Season
Most people today got the concept of living together from the idea of common law marriages and may not even know it.
Some even go to the extent of buying a house together with someone they are just dating.
Research shows that the number of unmarried “couples” in this category is a whooping 17%. If you have already bought a house jointly with someone as an unmarried couple, you may want to see an attorney to know what your legal rights are, in case of any eventualities.
But why wait till he has a put a ring on it before moving in with your to- be spouse?
From a personal faith standpoint- if you believe in it, pleasing God with your sexual purity is one. Trying to avoid soul ties is another because having soul ties is real. And yet another reason to wait before moving in is, if there’s a fall out at the end of the day, you really would have lost nothing.
Well…may be time? which is bad enough, but that’s it. Your dignity, respect and self worth still remains intact.
Anything short of this however, can only lead to bouts of regret at the end of the day. Sure you wouldn’t want that happening to you. Would you?
You may be reading this and thinking “what if I am long gone into it?”
No matter how far you’ve gone, it’s not too late to make a U–turn. It’s not too late to say no.
Saying no might actually be what you need to test the waters of your relationship and this is actually good for the both of you. If he walks away, which some may do, he really doesn’t deserve you. If he loves you, he would wait.
Wow! that was a lot.
5. Don’t be ashamed of your partner when dating
Some people when dating are somehow and for whatever reason, ashamed to show their date to others.
They hide them so much that people begin to wonder who it is. If you are not proud of who you are dating, it probably means the person is not for you.
It’s better to break up now than to waste any more time.
Related: 20 Subtle Signs He Really Likes You
6. Connect
This is a fun time and at the same time an opportunity for you to get to know each other well. Don’t blow it up.
Connect with each other and get to know where you are in the relationship and how far you can go. Find out how much you are the same, in what ways you differ and how you complement each other.
Leverage on your strengths and weaknesses to become the power couple you’ve always dreamed of.
7. Ask questions
Questions, questions, questions.
This dating tip is very important.
Ask as many questions as you want answers to and ask early enough before you get too emotionally entangled. Don’t hold back or be shy about it. Ask about the past and the present.
I am of the opinion that past secrets should not be kept secret in relationships (I know some think differently). Apart from the openness and room for trust it gives, you don’t want your former date but now spouse, finding out all the things hidden in the dark by himself (from third parties) after marriage. That can only bring bad news that could threaten the very core of your marriage or relationship.
Just Ask, Seek, Knock- (ASK)…you could be saving yourself from something disastrous both now and in the future.
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8. Discuss the future together
The future is so bright that you need sun shades to look at it. Lol!
Jokes apart, you have to talk about the future…where you would live, the number of children you would love to have or if you don’t want any at all, how you would relate with family especially if you are from different backgrounds ethically or culturally, whether you would like to continue with your job or choose to be a stay home mom or…a stay home dog mom.
Related: 6 Cultural Differences To Consider Before Marriage
You won’t believe that’s a thing! I actually saw this on the internet. I was like wow! Anyway, the bottom line is, I learnt something new.
I mean, there’s a whole lot to talk about with your partner and you should be excited about it.
Related: Living Apart From Your Spouse And 12 Ways of Overcoming Its Challenges.
9. Enjoy the dating process
Try as much as possible to enjoy your dating life.
Nothing beats that. Have fun.
Travel, go see the world together, go to the movies, try new foods. Have a great adventure! No holds barred.
Do it now for the sweet memories. You would definitely make more memories when you eventually get married, but memories made while dating is one of a kind. It’s so much fun!
10. Rinse, wash and repeat
Go back to the number one dating tip and go through it all over again and again.
Wishing you all the love, humor and spice in the world as you have fun making great memories with your date. Memories that will take you back the dating lane with huge smiles on your faces and joy in your hearts.
When you get to your destination, you will see it’s all worth it in the end…and that’s all that actually matters.
I love happy endings 🙂
Bonus Dating Tips:
-While dating, avoid things you know would lead you to an identity crises as a result of a broken relationship.
-If you want to take a lady out on a dinner date, make sure where you choose is a nice place and somewhere she would love to go. So do your research about places she likes before asking her out. If you are not sure of how to ask, ask her if she would like to go out for dinner and that it’s your pleasure to have her choose where to go. That should blow her away and make her feel pretty special. It’s a win!
What are your dating tips?
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